Top 10 questions that have never been answered about the Thing

10. When he’s lonely and looking for a date, does he attend women’s rock climbing events?

9. Is plastic surgery still an option?

8. Has toilet paper been replaced with a sandblaster?

7. Is screaming, “It’s clobberin’ time!” actually a desperate cry for acceptance?

6. Because of his orange skin does he’s have a special place in his heart for Ernie on Sesame Street?

5. Has he ever dated a female geologist? (Oh, you have such a nice rock formation.)

4. Is he really easy to beat at Rock, Paper, Scissors?

3. Does professional wrestling need a new gimmick?

2. Is he self-conscious about his weight?

1. Is the outside rock covered with a soft chewy center?