|
Batman and his Batmobile are
connected like any man and his bodacious ride should
be. The Batmobile that lived in the 60’s with
massive overstated fins and the double bubble
cockpit was a reflection of the times. It was
Batman as innocent and uncontroversial as my
grandmother who’s a Sunday School teacher. Cartoon-ish
violence was hidden behind multicolored “Pow’s” or
“Wham’s”. Yet every time that Danger Road Closed
sign went down and the Batmobile screamed past with
REAL flames shooting out the back, a generation fell
in love with Batman.
In the 80’s when the fins pointed up, the mood was darker, the gadgets were
cooler people still wanted to be Batman. In the
90’s with the unrealistic, elongated Batmobile and
the equally unrealistic dialogue, doubt started to
take hold. No one wanted to be that Batman. After
seeing Batman Begins with its gritty rendering of
Batman and the harsh all-terrain version of the
Batmobile, I believe in the Bat again. The
Batmobile as a blatantly rugged assault vehicle
never occurred to me but after a few nasty chase
scenes, I’m a believer. With a more callous,
justice fighter on the loose I began thinking about
what you wouldn’t hear in this Batmobile.
Top ten things never heard in the Batmobile
- I’ve been thinking about
getting a Mini Cooper, how much would you give
me as a trade-in?
- We can’t make out in the
backseat. My baby’s carseat is back there.
- Yeah, I’ll take a salad with fat free ranch ON THE
SIDE and a diet coke easy on the ice.
- Listen, Ernest if you
can’t pay your share of the gas, we might not
let you carpool with us.
- On your left you will
notice Joan River’s lovely home. The
incomparable star of silent films, Valentino,
once owned it. Coming up on your right…
- They didn’t lie, that
really is the world’s biggest ball of yarn.
- Have you ever had
fruitcake this moist and delicious? It’s simply
divine.
- Remember that time at band
camp?
- Do you think Lawrence Welk
is frontin’ or is he legit?
- Batman, your turn signal
has been blinking for the last 8 miles.
Get a Batman Fathead today!
|
