How to spend the next 7 days
before the Dark Knight premiere - 1995 version
(July 12, 2008)-
If you like the 1995 Batman Forever Movie
Saturday - Stand beside a minivan in the mall
parking lot. When someone cute walks by say, “It’s
the car, right? Chicks dig the car.”
Sunday – Meditate on this, if Val Kilmer
couldn’t beat up Rocky who was a foot shorter than
him, what makes him think he can be Batman?.
Monday – In an effort to relive the 25
minutes of Batman Forever that was digitally colored
to make it brighter take a kaleidoscope break it in
two and use it for sunglasses..
Tuesday – Grade random people as they walk
into Starbucks with Jim Carrey’s quote, “Your
entrance was good. His was better. The difference
Showmanship”.
Wednesday – As you drive to work think about
the size of the 1995 Batmobile, 25 FOOT LONG. 3 Mini
Coopers set bumper to bumper are only 24’ 3”. The Batmobile was 25”
and a whopping 10' 6" tall.
Thursday – Paint one side of your face purple
like Two-face and try to pick up two hotties. If
that doesn’t work go back to your basement and
devise a new plan.
Friday – As you pay for your ticket to see
the Dark Knight say this to the clerk, “Riddle me
this, what sort of man has bats on the brain.” Then
look away quickly.
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